2004

December 29

Guess who's back?! That's right...me. Well that was quite a little vacation.... It ended on a bit of a sad note as my friend Katie got into a car accident... You see, Sunday, well, Monday really...it started to rain....and rain.... and rain.... and it was so bad that on my way back yesterday, I actually had to pull over on more than one occasion because I couldn't see the cars in front of me. OK, I guess one of the times I pulled over just happened to be at the outlets...so of course I had to go shopping (you would have too, they've got EVERYTHING). Anyway...Katie is OK. Her car isn't, but other than a burn on her neck from the airbag, she's ok. (Thank G-D). I looked at places to live and although we still haven't gotten a specific place, I think we've decided what area we want to live in which is a start, I suppose.

Now, I literally got back late last night and can you believe that I saw the FIRST pictures of Tsunami then?! Yup. Apparently I've become way too dependent on the internet for my news...or too dependent on my friends to update me....so basically, I've been attempting to catch up on the recent world events, along with unpacking, dealing with work, the rain (it's now pouring HERE), and trying to come up with something to wear to a New Year's party that I'm going to where the theme is '80's Prom'.....what possessed my dear friends to come up with such an idea, I don't know, but thanks guys cause I have no idea what to wear. My prom was well into the 90s so that outfit won't work. I mean sure I can dress 80s (although even that would take some massive creativity and most likely a trip to buy something new) but prom? Not to mention that I refuse to wear something that makes me look in any way unflattering.... so....I'm a little stuck as to what to wear, if you have any ideas, please....let me know. So far all I can come up with is a minidress/skirt (of which I obviously have many) because I think those were hot back then....and....... yup, I'm stuck. Sooooo.....ideas? Anyone?

OK....it's 5 am and can you believe that getting this little update, up, as soon as I could, was the reason why I think I got no sleep last night and was tossing and turning?! Anyway, my point, is that I wanted to get at least something up, ASAP, so I'll get my day started and update more later.....;-)

December 23

Happy Festivus! Merry Christmas! Happy belated Hanukkah! Happy Chrismukkah! Seasons Greetings!... whichever you prefer...:) I am either on my way to, already in, or on my way back from, L.A...I.E. I'm on vacation! I'll be back here Monday and believe me, I'm going to miss you all terribly, really, I am... but it happens.... Now of course there will still be the Ebonics word of the day everyday.... and actually, I think that a lot of you seem to miss one of the best pages (at least I find it endlessly amusing) on here, the GOODSH!T page. It really does have links to some of the best, most entertaining, most boredom curing sites, not to mention my very amusing commentary which makes even me, laugh when I read it. So if you haven't taken a look at that page, you really are missing out.....And if you're looking for a last minute gift for someone, give them the gift that keeps on giving...a link to The Spin Zone...;-)..Or, if you're looking for something special for the lady in your life (or man I suppose, but I won't go there)....the gift that REALLY keeps on giving.....;-) Happy Holidays everyone!

December 20

Well that will go down as one of the most unproductive weekends I've ever had... My brother-in-law became an uncle for the first time yesterday, so congrats...it also happened to be his birthday yesterday and I'd like to be the first to welcome him to the 'you're officially closer to 30 than 20 club' (He turned 26). I bought him some golf gloves...what is it with everyone and golf? I mean that's all anyone does here...even in the heat of summer... I don't get it. I mean I went to a driving range a few times and sure swinging the club is somewhat stress relieving and all, but after a half hour my hands are killing me...hmmmm.....perhaps that's why he wanted new gloves?...;-)

December 17

Still leaving those notes up....cause I'm lazy today....very, very lazy...even though I updated a couple pages ...I guess that took all my energy..:)

December 15

OK....I am officially addicted to Isketch....I'd link to it but that might just make me want to click it more and currently I am there more than I'm anywhere else and that's just sad......S E N D H E L P......;-) And Lohan's thing...it's staying up (see below)....and yes, I've seen lohanfreestyle and I have that song forever stuck in my head.....thanks

Now here's some gossip that I received via email and while it could be just a 'story', considering how her Thanksgiving went down, it wouldn't surprise me if it were true.... I'm talking about Lindsay Lohan losing some of her 'items' in the middle of Manhattan.....Pics included


December 13

Again.....had another server issue this weekend so no one really got to see the latest updates so I'm leaving Friday's little note up.....and seriously the server issue WILL be resolved..... it's actually quite sad how empty I felt this weekend knowing that no one could reach my page....:(

December 10

OK...so let's get down to business....first of all, I have added a reader submitted addendum to my 'Spin of the Week' which should have been posted a while back, but I had some email server issues among other things, so I'm just posting it now.... thanks Kevin...;-)

Now here's some gossip that I received via email and while it could be just a 'story', considering how her Thanksgiving went down, it wouldn't surprise me if it were true.... I'm talking about Lindsay Lohan losing some of her 'items' in the middle of Manhattan.....Pics included...

December 8

Still leaving up the past couple days notes.... but I had to get this in real quick cause it just happened and being the nosey motherf%*ker that I am, I couldn't resist racing to the 'scene' to see what all the excitement was about....and so ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the luckiest motherf%*ker of the day:

wrong turn?



December 7

I'm leaving up yesterday's little note because there was another issue with the server so A) There's a good chance you couldn't access my page and B) Because I'm still addicted to that evil, evil sketch game.

More importantly though, my best friend in Chicago works in the building exactly next door to the one that was on fire yesterday ..... AND even freakier....the exact same floor! She's fine, and had actually left work by the time the fire had started....but she knows how much I like 'situations' so of course she had to call and tell me all about it....

I also have now added the 'Ebonics Word of the Day' to the main menu....cause it's popular you see.... also added 'Greek Letters' to the menu because that too seems to be quite popular and seeing as how I was adding one thing....I just added another.....

December 6

So......guess there was a little problem with the website this weekend eh? Yes, I know, I was going insane....Problem was that the server is down at my dad's office, my dad is in South Africa at the moment, and it was Sunday so no one else was there...... So I was going insane with boredom yesterday, added with the fact that it was raining and cold and while I love that, I just couldn't seem to motivate myself to leave my house to do a damn thing..... But I did become addicted to something new, which is going to get me into a lot of trouble at work because I honestly didn't need another thing to keep me from actually doing work.... iSketch is what I'm talking about and if you play with people that you know (or at least people who you sorta know) then it's funny as hell, but seriously, I have work to do so I'm going to have to get this desire to play online pictionary out of my body....

On another note, there apparently is a new drug on the market that makes you feel like you're on crack but still allows you to maintain control of your vehicle! At least there must be a new drug because this morning on my way in to work there was a 'ghost' cop car on the freeway and luckily I saw it before I passed him (not that I was speeding or anything, cause I would never do that...;-) but there was an Explorer that seemed to not see the cop and he kept on flying by. Well not to long after that the cop car pulled right behind the Explorer and I was sure he was gonna pull him over. Then we went around a curve and some trucks blocked my view and when I saw the two cars again, the Explorer was now behind the cop car and it appeared that Mr. Explorer had successfully avoided a ticket....but then the next thing I see is the Explorer sitting on the cops ass....like seriously tailing the cop for no reason. And it went on for a good 3 miles or so...... So I eventually came to the conclusion that Mr. Explorer was on some form of crack....OK, that was random but I just have never seen balls of that size in long, long time.....

There will also be an update to my 'Spin of the Week' later today....fyi....;-)

December 3

Yada, yada, yada...I'm really tired today..... OK, not quite for the same reasons as George's girl (and if you don't know what I'm talking about, well, then you're missing out)...but I'm tired today because Tuesday night Stephanie called me in a panic and said, "Lauren....Lauren....you have to take me to the emergency room NOW!...No...NOW!!" So anyone that knows me (or anyone who has heard me say it before) knows that I don't handle 'panic' situations very well...I tend to freeze. Well lucky for the patient, I didn't freeze because I had gotten home from work not too long before that and finally had gotten undressed and was ready to relax, so now I had to get dressed.... Now Steph happens to live in my apartment complex about 60' away from me (hence why calling me was faster than calling an ambulance, or something like that). Well she was at my door knocking about 5 seconds later and I ran down my stairs with my pants totally undone (and another thing people that know me know is that I'm clumsy as hell in the simplest of situations and my apt is more like a townhouse with three flights of narrow stairs that I have most certainly fallen down before on more than one occasion, all times, completely sober).

So anyway, I make it down stairs somehow without tripping over/in my pants that were mid-thigh, open the garage and Steph looks like she's seen a ghost and is convinced she's having some sort of heart attack. Now a bit of background info, Stephanie dislocated her shoulder a while back (apparently) and has been having problems with pain in her shoulder and chest as a result and the past week has been complaining that her chest was hurting.....something that would probably happen if you strained a muscle in it but Steph is Steph so off we went to the ER. Now normally I would have been more excited to go to the ER because my idea of one of the coolest nights of my life would be spent just hanging out in a level 1 Trauma room. (My favorite show is Trauma: Life in the ER which I can easily watch while eating dinner...) but the hospital closest to our apt is a level 2 so none of the real exciting things happen there...mostly just hypochondriacs who think they need a level 1...(Love ya Steph and you know I'm one too...;-) But anyway, the point here is that she was seen incredibly quickly and I thought that this may just go down in history as the shortest amount of time I'd ever spent in an ER (I've spent many a college nights with any number of people at ERs waiting for hours...not to mention the 'Urgent Care' in Las Vegas last year... Man I'm really bad with all the tangents today)

... Anyway, she was seen, x-rayed, EKG'ed...all very quickly...and then the waiting began...and the sillier Stephanie began to feel, and the more hungry I got....anyway, we finally left and as for Stephanie, diagnoses: "Nothing, but take some Advil if it hurts and follow up with your regular doctor". Well, I can't really blame her, I myself have been to the ER for things that some may not consider ER-worthy but at least I drove my SELF there! Alright, I've bashed my poor friend enough....for one day....;-)

Also just wanted to give a high-five to some truly great Spinners...don't I have a contest around here somewhere...? Anyway, did you hear about the Kenny Roger's brawl? Well anyone listening to ABC radio the other day did... Now see, that's just another example of why the NEWS is no longer 'factual reporting', but rather 'Rumors With Sponsors'...(thanks to an older episode of 'The Daily Show' for that one...;-)

November 29

Hellooooooooooooo! Well that was quite a long weekend that I had....lots of goings on. First up, I'd just like to say, to my beloved Wildcats... I was bitching last week about you guys losing (bball) to Virginia... Well you can thank the football team (and I never thought I'd ever suggest such a thing either) for redeeming the entire U of A Athletic program for BEATING ASU! It's no secret that I can't stand ASU, anyone with half a brain knows that ASU sucks, but ask any Wildcat and they'll tell you that when it comes to football, we suck... really suck...we don't even pretend that we're better than ASU so when we BEAT them 34-27 on Friday you can imagine the shock...which soon turned to laughter (at least for me) because there can't possibly be anything more humiliating than losing to your long-time rivals in a game that you should have stomped on them.... So thank you boys...thank you...Even they don't know what the hell hit them..;-)

On to the most entertaining part of my weekend.... Friday I flew to L.A. for my 10 year high school reunion. I know, I can't believe it either and seeing as how most people think I'm my 25 year old sister's YOUNGER sister, I was fairly convinced that I was going to be feeling like the only one who still looked like I was in high school but much to my pleasant surprise, I think everyone looked like they did Senior year in high school! Now you see, my high school was tiny, one of the smallest in L.A. (yes, it was private) and everyone was pretty close so everyone sort of new what everyone else was doing so it really wasn't going to be like a typical high school reunion. In other words, no one could really BS anyone about what they're doing and there wasn't really any big surprises...but it was a lot of fun actually, and I miss everyone...ok not everyone but most of em.

I also ordered a few 'Spin Zone' items (the tank top, the thong underwear and the boxers) and they're really quite cute....when I was in L.A. some guy said, 'Hey, what's that mean?' (got spin?) so I guess it's at the very least, attention getting, right?

November 25

Happy Turkey Day! Or as I now am going to refer to it, 'The Givin's'. Today is special for me because it marks the only time of the year when I venture into the kitchen to bake or cook anything. And really, it's only to bake because never mind that I can't cook anything (really, I'm the worst cook ever) the only thing I can bake is Apple Pie. And it's damn good...I make it from scratch and everything, crust and all...my mother doesn't understand how I can make such a kick ass pie from scratch, but I couldn't cook a chicken to save my life... Wait, forget a chicken, I once almost burned my parents house down while trying to make some microwave rice thing. OK, quick story cause it will demonstrate just how bad of a cook I am:
     So I'm back home for summer my freshman year of college and it's 2 in the morning which for me, is a reasonable time to eat. So I grab this rice 'thing' out of the cupboard and prepare my meal. I followed the directions, put the mix in a bowl and set the microwave for something like 14 minutes. Now given, it seemed a little long for something to be in the microwave but I read and re-read the directions 10 times to make sure so I went ahead and started the microwave. I was sitting in the den about 10 minutes or so later and I hear my dad come running down the stairs in a panic. So I get up to go see what's wrong and just as I rounded the corner I saw what had prompted the panic, the kitchen was in a 'haze' of smoke. So of course my dad is freaking out and I'm trying to come up with a good excuse of why I decided at 2 am to start cooking when I knew I was already semi-banned from doing so in my parents house. Well we went to the microwave and discovered that the large bowl in it, was no longer large but rather a plastic heap. Well long story short (I know, too late) I have never forgotten the awful smell of burned plastic and soon after that incident, the microwave had to be tossed. Well the next morning I explained to my mother that I followed the directions exactly and I had no idea what went wrong. Now my mother, who doesn't let these sort of thing 'go' very easily, actually wrote a letter to who ever had made the rice, (Uncle Ben's maybe? I can't remember). Well a couple hours later it all of a sudden hit me what went wrong...I had forgotten to add the main, and probably most important ingredient other than the rice itself..... water. I had completely skipped that part...of course I held out on telling my mother this because I knew she'd completely ban me from making anything in the kitchen and it was only the beginning of summer vacation. OK, one more quick cooking story in case you don't believe just how clueless as a cook I am:
     Back when my sister and I were kids (maybe I was 12 she was 10?) my mom was sick and so we decided to make her one of her favorite things, Rice Krispi Treats. So we got to work in the kitchen and put the rice krispis in a pot, with some butter and stirred. Of course nothing was really happening and we couldn't figure out why they weren't sticking together and being that we were trying to surprise my mom, we couldn't ask her.... so thinking that we were innovative chefs we decided that maple syrup was just the right consistency to make our rice krispis stick together. Well, we brought them up to my mother and she looked pleasantly surprised and she said, 'Girls! You made me rice krispi treats! But when did you get the marshmallows?' Marshmallows, right.... so THAT was the missing ingredient. Needless to say they tasted disgusting but it was the thought that counts right?

OK, so now we all now what a sh!tty cook I am and with that, I leave you now to make the only thing I know how to make...my prized Apple Pie! Enjoy the Givin's everyone!

November 22

It's raining! Man do I love the rain....although it was part of the reason why I completely overslept this morning and missed my alarm. It's just so nice and cold outside that staying in bed all day would have been nice....well that's a lie because there's no way I would have actually stayed in bed, but anyway....

Now here's a little message to my Wildcats ..... see...here's the problem.... we know that your football program isn't exactly what we'd call, oh, I don't know....good. So we live through the embarrassing football season year after year and what keeps us going is knowing that basketball time isn't too far away and then the sh!t talking can flow from our mouths freely. So that being said....what the f%$k happend in Virginia on Sunday? It was bad enough you guys chocked in the first round last season but now you go and lose to an unranked Virginia three games in? Come on now!

Just a reminder that some of my brilliant work for spin zone stuff is awaiting your feedback. I happened to order some of the thong underwear and it should be here by tomorrow (Tuesday) or more likely on Wednesday....in any case, I'll let you know how they look 'in person'...;-)

Click here for the spin zone pop-up message thing...

November 18

So I went to watch a fight and a Hip-Hop Awards show broke out... I'm a comedian aren't I? It's just that with there being no hockey this season, I miss the fights... Speaking of television, although I missed it, my 'Desperate Housewives' girls made an 'appearance' on Monday Night Football... Michael Powell to show once again what a jackass he is with FCC Fines in 3.....2....

Now back to me.....;-) I have received some requests to have TSZ 'stuff' that people can buy and I've been messing around with ideas over at Cafe Press for little while and I thought it would be kind of cool to have a few TSZ 'things' out there. I've posted some of the ideas that I've had and maybe they're lame...maybe they're funny...maybe they're cool, I don't know, which is why anyone who cares to give me feedback will get a nice big gold star. The most recent request was for a doormat to combat Bill O'Reilly's version...unfortunately Cafe Press doesn't have doormats, but they do have license plate frames and so does O'Reilly sooooo....now I'll have one too! It'll be on the page with the other ideas I have so feedback is welcomed!

And speaking of feedback.... I realize that the sucklist page is, to some of you, a means of communication with me and perhaps all TSZ viewers, and it is certainly welcomed, but I thought that perhaps instead of using the sucklist page, I would make a new little script thing that would act as a sort of 'squawk box' type thing... I haven't decided whether or not to integrate into this main page or make it its own little page, so for now, I've made it a little pop-up thingy that you can keep open all the time as will I! I know I can't contain my excitement either...and I'll see YOU in the SPIN ZONE...;-)

November 15

So I have to go a full week without my 'Desperate Housewives' and 'Boston Legal'...stupid award shows...
Anyway, I'd write more here but I've got a massive headache and I'm tired so hopefully I'll soon be refreshed and minus the headache so I'll be able to be my normal 'always have way too much to say' self... I'm not even sure that last sentence made sense...oy.....but this weekend I DID manage to update and add...so enjoy

November 8

Who's got two thumbs and has a new car? This girl right here! That's right....after talking about getting one for oh, I don't know, 7 months or so, I finally got one...Whew... my old car was quite a sad sight ever since that piece of wood lodged itself in my front grill, and Friday was supposed to be the day I took it in to get fixed. Now I thought that it would be in there for a week, 10 days at most, but as it turns out it would have been in there for AT LEAST a month...I mean geez, I'll be in L.A. by then (well, almost anyway) and so the decision was made to get a new car and trade in my wounded black beauty. So what did I get? A 2005 Dolphin Grey Audi 1.8T Quattro 6 speed (manual, of course) with the S4 interior and Ultra Sports package... I.E. one hell-of-a SWEET car! Of course now I'm paranoid driving and parking it (for fear of one of Arizona's 98% of bad drivers hitting, denting or scratching it) but it's been 5 years since I've had that paranoid feeling and man is it worth it!

So Saturday night we went to the bars and I fully expected to valet my car because there are never any spaces any where near downtown Scottsdale....but as luck would have it (or so I thought) a car pulled out of a spot right in front of the bar we were going to! So I grabbed it, of course, but then had this sinking feeling that I'd just completely stolen it from someone who had been waiting for the space. It happened to be a group of girls and they were just waiting for me to get out of my car so that they could call me some choice words and I actually felt bad...and Stephanie, who is the queen of foul mouth words and getting into verbal confrontations says, 'Let's just wait until they leave'... gee, thanks Steph.... but it was kinda too late so I readied myself with some choice words of my own and got out the car. Fortunately though by then the 5 cars behind their car were getting pissed and started honking at her to move so she had to drive off and the confrontation was avoided. But at that point I was so freaked out that they were gonna come back and f-up my car that it was a little tough to fully enjoy myself but after a drink and after we met up with the people we went there to meet, we all decided to go to another bar and though we could have walked, I thought it was a good opportunity to move my car to safer territory. OK, that was an entire paragraph dedicated to my new car paranoia...sheesh....

November 4

Well it looks like George and his boys will be around for another 4 years...And to answer your question of whom I voted for...I'll say this...I had no idea who to vote for when I walked in to the booth, no, really, I had no idea and I decided to leave the Pres vote for the last thing but then wouldn't you know it, I completely forgot to vote for one at all. Of course I can't possibly do anything the easy way (though I try, honestly I do) so I put that ballot into the machine and then realized that 'Holy Shiat, I left out the main one' so I went to grab the ballot back which caused the machine to have a minor heart attack which then caused an error message. So I had to fill out another ballot...which I did. Now mind you that I had no idea who 95% of the people on there were...I mean Judges, School District people, etc, etc, so I thought it would be very clever of me to write myself in (I know you didn't have that option in some states but we did here so what can I tell you). I wrote myself in for 'Corporation Commissioner'...I haven't heard from them so I'm assuming I lost, but I'll keep you updated. But right after I did that it occurred to me that considering how uncommon my name is (at least here) I got paranoid and thought, 'Oh sh!t, they're gonna know whose ballot this is...' So to counter my paranoia I started writing in made up names for all kinds of things in an attempt to 'throw them off'... Now I also happened to write-in Jon Stewart for various positions but I could only hope he would win...;-) But as for who I voted for, if you recall that ebay vote auction thing I did... well, although the winner stated that they still were leaving it up to me, I still didn't want to vote for either candidate because they're all full of sh!t, but I do live in a Conservative state and knew there was no way that Kerry was gonna win it (especially with John McCain rallying everyone and their mother), so between that and being made to feel guilty by my very democratic mother and sister I went for the safe 'clear conscience' vote... it was a win-win situation for me....cause even if I lost, really, I won....I really wanted to vote for Clinton though....;-)

November 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah....lagging with the updates...I know.... I'd like to say it's because I had such an awesome Halloween that I've been recovering from it...but that just would not be the truth...

And speaking of lying.... today (hopefully) marks the end of the "I'm such and such and I approved this message" crap...No, I haven't voted yet... and honestly I'm not sure who I'm voting for. Everyone says, "You HAVE to vote! It's your responsibility as an American!" and to them I say, 'Well maybe I don't want to be responsible for picking the wrong guy and it would be MORE responsible of me to NOT vote than to vote for a candidate I'm not sure of'. And to those people who are out telling everyone to go vote....('Vote or Die' for example)....I have a question for you...: Do you really care that Americans exercise their right to vote for a candidate they believe in, or do you just care that they vote for anyone...? Cause I'd much rather the election be decided by 100 informed and educated citizens, than millions of complete idiots who voted because they think Puff Daddy is cool...

Alright, that's my rant for the day...I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning so I'm in a bit of a mood...hopefully this will clear up shortly...my apologies to you all...

And for the most updated election results, go to CNN's real-time results.

October 29

Very slow with updates today...mostly due to the amount of alcohol that was consumed while watching the game last night..... Speaking of which, here's a shot of the Bosox celebrating...(Note my pseudo boyfriend, Theo Epstein ...also note the unfortunate angle at which that picture was taken....but it makes for quite an amusing picture)

Theo-call me ASAP

October 27

Just a little mid-day update here.... I got a little carried away playing with pictures, and so I give you the 'Totally Unnecessary Censorship' page.

Wow...so many links, so little time...but aside from the naked hot bitch auction which you all I'm sure have visited by now and plan on bidding on.....there are some sites that are most definitely worth your time...
First off, you see George W's official campaign website is, www.georgewbush.COM.... it is NOT www.georgewbush.ORG no, that site belongs to the good folks over at chickenhead who recently discovered that there was a large amount of emails that had been mistakenly sent to .ORG addresses when they were meant to go to the .COM addresses... ooopps....
And on the hot topic of the upcoming elections, do you feel like slapping the sh!t outta Bush or Kerry? Cause here's your chance....

October 26

I'm leaving yesterday's update here, but I wanted to add something... If you look on my goodsh!t page and the most recent additions, you will find What Kerry's REALLY Saying as well as What Bush's REALLY Saying and after having looked at those, I decided to join in on the fun and do the VP version... so I give you What Edwards' REALLY Saying and What Cheney's REALLY Saying. Enjoy

October 25

First of all, if any of you happened to catch 'Saturday Night Live' this week, then you know about the 'Milli-Vanilli' Ashlee Simpson F-up....for those of you who did not happen to catch it, well, here ya go, complete with her 'apology'.... Not that I care whether or not some lip sings, I just think it's funny.

And to all the ladies out there....find out which 'Desperate Housewife' you are...As for myself... DHgabrielle


And don't forget the naked hot bitch auction which is of course, still going strong....;-)

October 22

Well, well, well....the Bosox are going to World Series.....?! I'd say the end of the world was near but they're not playing my Cubs (that would of course be the ultimate sign that the end of the world was near...) I would also like to congratulate my boyfriend, Theo Epstein. Yeah, yeah, obviously he's not but he's hot....really hot..... In any case, if Houston wins today then you realize that it will be 'Massachusetts Vs Texas'.... sort of like 'Kerry Vs Bush'?! Well, I think that's a rather interesting coincidence...of course that's assuming the Astro's win, but I thought I'd point it out anyway.

The naked hot bitch auction is going very well and considering that there is still a week left, I think that my naked bitch will soon be gracing the inbox of some lucky bidder out there....;-)

October 20

First off I would just like to say hello to those of you from CL... glad to have you..;-)

Second, I want to thank those of you who are bidding on my latest auction ...my bitch couldn't be more thrilled...And I'm leaving up yesterday's notes (see below) just in case anyone missed it cause it's definitely worth checking out. (Both the auction AND the Crossfire clip).

Now on to sports...you know since my Cubbies are out, I decided to back my hometown team...the Dodgers...which didn't last very long. And I really don't love or hate the Astros or Cardinals so it's tough to root for either one. So then we come to the Yankees and Red Sox..... now mind you, I love New York City, I have family and friends there and it is probably my favorite city in this country (well, it's a tough call between NY and Chicago (I probably would lean more to Chitown), but for the sake of this discussion, let's just say it's NY). OK, now I've never been to Boston, but my best friend here in Arizona, Stephanie, who I've talked about before is from there and is by far the biggest, most obnoxious Boston fan in this state...Well no, that's not true because her parents live here too as do a group of our friends, all of whom hail from Boston, and all of whom are die hard fans of any Boston team. OK, point is that really, my favorite thing about this NY-Boston series is the fact that they are such rivals that it really makes it fun to watch and I certainly wasn't disappointed last night. Now look, I have no loyalty to either team, I like em both for different reasons, but I've got to say, that whole Arroyo-A-Rod thing was out of control (although I'm not sure the riot police were necessary)...Not only did A-Rod blatantly knock the ball out of Arroyo's hand, but he hadn't even touched the base when the ump ruled him safe! Ahhhh, but it made for an eventful evening and I'm sure tonight won't disappoint....;-)

October 19

Guess what everyone....there's a new auction on the E-bay block... Hot Naked Pics! and yes, it's 'safe for work', much to many of your disappointments...;-) You can also go to my newest page here at TSZ, but go to the auction first...;-)

Now on to another note (seeing as how I'm sure I'll be discussing it many more times this week).... Jon Stewart....I love him, as do I love 'The Daily Show' and this week Jon graced the set of CNN's 'Crossfire' and the result was one of the funniest, 'put people in their place', non 'Comedy Central' produced, shows. Republican or Democrat, it doesn't matter, Jon tells the 'news' media how it really is and he couldn't be more right on....or funnier .... and he couldn't make Tucker Carlson look like a bigger tool even if he dressed up like a hammer. IFILM has the clip and I highly, HIGHLY recommend watching it if you haven't seen it already, or even if you have, cause it's still funny the second time around. Also, HERE are the transcripts from the show....courtesy of CNN. One of my fave's:

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.
CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.
STEWART: You need to go to one.

October 15

I learned a hard lesson the night of the debates...if you're going to discuss politics with family members, don't. Now I love my mom and sister...to death...but what started as a little commentary turned in to a 3 hour "discussion" Aka "fight". It ended just before it started getting really personal, but actually, I came to some interesting realizations, which I'll be writing about this weekend...but wanted to let you all know. Not that you asked but since when do I not say something simply because no one asked..;-)

On a completely different subject...one of 'Spinners' (no, I don't mean the rims..although there may be a very crude joke in there) but anyway.....It has been requested that I include a section about "them" and I want to assure the requesters that such a section will be added...soon..;-)

Now on to other things... All (or most of you I would assume) know at least one of the following: Bill O'Reilly, 'The No Spin Zone', 'The O'Reilly Factor' or FOX Newscorp...right? Good, now .... My site is THE Spin Zone because regardless what Bill O'Reilly claims, everyone, including him is full of spin and to think otherwise is to live in a fantasy land. Now I watch all kinds of news programs, on all or most of the networks and am quite aware of which 'side' the various networks tend to lean. That being said, one of the programs that I watch, at least when I have a chance to, is Fox News' 'The Factor' which is hosted by Bill O'Reilly. Bill claims to have a 'No' spin show going on over there and is always attempting to get the 'real' story from people and he attempts to confront them many times, in order to do so. So....with that being said... This week O'Reilly filed a law suit against Andrea Mackris, an associate producer at Fox, claiming that she, along with her lawyers, attempted to extort $60 million by claiming that Bill had sexually harassed Ms. Mackris. Well it took all of a few hours for Mackris and her attorneys to file a sexual harassment suit against O'Reilly and Fox....and this is where it gets "interesting" (or disturbing or amusing or all three)... To read the NSFW graphic details of exactly what Ms. Mackris claims O'Reilly did in regards to sexually harassing her, go to The Smoking Gun and if the 22 pager is too much for you, don't worry...the good folks at TSG will point you directly to the 'highlights'. There is a 'Spin of the Week' somewhere here in the making, I'm sure of it....;-)

October 13

First things first, a big happy birthday to my mom who turns 29 today! (Of course that would make her 1 when she had me but she's been turning 29 for the last 19 years you see). And a big happy birthday to my friend Scott who I had dinner with last night along with the rest of the crew. And to that crew, I just want to say thank you for a great time...I haven't laughed that much in one sitting in a long time.... I'm seriously debating going to Vegas with you guys although I'll most likely have to pass on getting my own 'table shower'...but then, you never know....;-)

Now onto the reason why it's going to take me 3 hours to get home tonight. You see my office is no where near where I live...so assuming there's zero traffic, it takes me 1/2 hour to get to work. But this is Phoenix, and people can't drive to save their lives so there's always traffic...and for no good reason. But today, today is the final Presidential debate which is taking place in Tempe and I have to drive right through there to get home and already this morning there are all kinds of exits blocked off and I don't even think Kerry is here yet. Never mind the fact that the debate is taking place at ASU, Bank One Ballpark is screening the debate there for anyone and everyone to see and as luck would have it, I work right by there and of course, I have to pass straight through there. So basically I'm just bitching to bitch but my hand still hurts so I'm just in a bitching mood....apparently...;-)

October 11

OK, hand is killing me...still...and I just put up my new Spin of the Week which took an awful lot of effort considering how in pain I am (I know I know, can't you just hear the violins?). But I thought it was worth mentioning briefly that after spending countless hours debating on where to move, I have decided that while I love Chicago (and plan on visiting it just as much as I do now) I am moving back to my home.....L.A. Not sure exactly where I'll be living, either in Brentwood or Hollywood, haven't decided yet, and I'll be able to continue doing my current job from there but plan on going into one of my true loves, advertising or PR. Can't really do that here in Arizona, at least not at the level I would want plus, I've spent quite enough time here in AZ and I'll only be a 4 1/2 drive (yes, I can do it in 4 1/2 hours...ok, maybe 5) away...;-)

October 8

Congrats to winner of the auction...you will now get to experience 1/2 hour of the best time of your life....a conversation with me! OK, I'd write more but my hand is still killing me. Oy.....do I feel sorry for myself....Perhaps now I'll really never drink again. Damn, if I had a dime for every time I said that....

October 6

Oh boy.....where to start..... OK, first of all, I just got back from L.A. last night, although I didn't go straight home you see...no, I went straight to the doctor. Why? Well let's just say that while intoxicated on Saturday night, I had a bit of a fall. I'm not going into details, but Saturday night we went out, got drunk, and yada, yada, yada, I woke up Sunday morning with a badly swollen hand. It looked pretty horrible but I didn't feel like spending 6 hours in an ER so I iced it. Well Monday came along (the day I was supposed to come back to Phoenix) and I had a meeting which ended later in the afternoon and I wasn't sure I wanted to drive home in the dark. So meanwhile my hand is killing me and everyone says something is broken and being that it was my right hand and I drive a stick, things were only going to get worse. So the next morning I was on my way to see my dad's doctor and before I could even get onto Wilshire, my dad called and told me the doc and his son were out for the week. At this point I figured what the hell, I'll just come back to Phoenix....which I did, and went straight to the doctor, then straight to X-ray and thankfully, it's just a sprain and nothing's broken but I still had to go today and get fitted for a splint which I'm wearing right now which is making typing a bitch! Oh, and on my way from getting my splint to my office, a truck on the freeway flung a huge piece of plywood out of it and straight into the grill of my car. I stopped in the shoulder, pulled the gigantic piece of wood that was lodged in my grill, out, along with various bits of my car.... So now I have a totally f-ed up car to go with my totally f-ed hand...So if the updates are slow, it's cause my typing is slow and painful.....Don't you feel sorry for me?

Now onto the Ebay auction...with 9000+ views, it's being linked to from somewhere, but I don't know where and I'm nosey as all hell so please, if any of you came from the auction, I'd LOVE to know where it was linked from...;-)

October 1

Well the 1/2 phone conversation Ebay auction is still going....and hasn't been pulled...(hopefully I didn't just jinx it).... Today I'm driving to L.A. for a little vaca and this time I'm armed with both my XM Radio and my newest toy, my Ipod....so the 6 hour drive (well, more like 5 but that'll depend on the highway patrol...) will be a lot more entertaining. On the subject of entertaining myself (no, not that kind, man you guys have dirty minds...) I've got a new obsession....ring tones. Now sure I've had a cell phone for years and have always attempted to have a nice collection of tones, but ever since I switched to Verizon and got a phone with polyphonic tones, I've turned my ring tones into an art form...kinda. Now I actually can have a song with the actual singing on it! Of course you have to pay to download them from Verizon's 'Get It Now' service and the options are fairly limited so I decided to find a better way...and I did. I bought the cable that connects from my phone to my computer, downloaded a wonderful little free program called 'Bitpim', edited my own tones from whatever song I wanted and violá, now I've got ring tones galore and no doubt there are people out there who want to take my phone and kick it for a field goal, but I don't care...I'm amused and that's all that matters. Probably my two favorite tones aren't even songs....one is a sound clip from 'Seinfeld' (for all you fans out there, it's the one where George has his own rendition of 'Believe It Or Not' on his answering machine) and the other is a sound clip from my number one favorite movie of all time...'Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?...etc.
OK, it seems that I do have way too much free time on my hands so I'd better get moving here if I wanna beat rush hour traffic on the worlds biggest parking lot, the 405.... Have a great weekend everybody and if you're in L.A., be on the lookout for a blurred face chick...;-)

September 27

Well good Monday to you all...hope your weekend was entertaining, unless you live in Florida in which case I hope you still have your house...and speaking of hurricanes, this year "L" is going to be a girls name so if any weather people are reading this, I wouldn't mind seeing a 'Hurricane Lauren'.

On to the Ebay auction....it appears that the 'wording' of the auction is what got me into trouble and is what lead them to pull it...and I can't link back to my webpage from the auction itself because it was only 5 minutes after the Ebay 'Police' visited my site, that the auction was pulled. OK, so then here ya go:

Up for auction is a 1/2 phone conversation with me. We all know what is 'really' up for auction but the idea here is to keep that on the 'down low' as far as Ebay is concerned....so let's see how long this one lasts shall we?...

September 23

So yours truly was supposed to be at the Emmy's last Sunday but long story short I wasn't able to attend, so like many of you, I chose not to watch them on TV, mostly because in general, award shows are boring... but I did happen to catch when 'Arrested Development' won and a friend of mines father, who I've known since I was in elementary school, is a writer for the show and even got a special mention so congrats to him...and congrats to 'The Daily Show' because it kicks ass and has the Emmy to prove it...;-)

The Ebay auction thing is still coming, I've just been preoccupied with work, but upon hearing a commercial for another Fox version of 'The Swan', I couldn't help but wonder what next stupid garbage the networks were going to put on as their next 'brilliant' idea.....so I pondered some and the 'Reality TV Show Generator' was born, if nothing else, for my amusement...;-)

September 16

****IMPORTANT NOTICE**** Ebay responded to my response to their response.

As I said before, I'm just putting the finishing touches on my auction that WILL go on as planned, but I thought this was amusing.... I got an email from Ebay today. Hmmmm....so now they are asking me to relist my item? Sheesh, make up your minds people...

September 9

****IMPORTANT NOTICE**** Ebay responded to my email that I sent regarding their de-listing of my auction.... so I responded to them:

Hello Jeneeva,

Thank you for responding to me and offering your further explanation as to why my auction was de-listed. That being said, I find that the explanation is not relevant to my specific case. The terms 'buy my vote' never appear in my auction description and in fact I state that I am specifically NOT selling my vote. I go on to say that the auction is simply for the opportunity to convince me to vote for the candidate of the winning bidders choice, with no guarantee that I will comply if I am not persuaded.

While I understand that Ebay has chosen not to be the appropriate venue to facilitate the selling of votes, as that would be illegal and might therefore leave Ebay open to prosecution by authorities, what I do not understand is the assumption that is made on the part of Ebay that my intentions (stated or not stated) is to break any laws. There are websites devoted to auctions on Ebay that seem to be inappropriate and considering the auctions that do take place, I see mine as not being any where near that level. I have no intention, nor do I have the time, to repeatedly list auctions on Ebay that may or may not violate any of your policies, but please understand that after going through the policies numerous times, I still do not find any policies that I have violated. Surely you are aware of some of the auctions that go on on your site which any common sense person would see as completely bizarre and surely a violation of some sort of policy. Just as a quick search I did revealed, there are plenty of auctions on Ebay that have allowed to remain on even though they blatantly violated an Ebay stated policy. I've listed a couple auctions along with the policy that they violate below:

This auction is particularly disturbing because the original item was listed as:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=31387&item=4106530387 then re-listed to:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4109248730
I didn't include the policies it appears to violate because it should be more than obvious that it violates one policy AT LEAST, but most likely, several.....
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=63889&item=5320275193
http://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/misleading-titles.html

This is all besides the fact that there are numerous, 'Buy an air guitar', 'buy hanging out with me for a day', 'buy having me come to your house and hurt your loved ones'.... type auctions.

So I must ask you again, what policy do I violate specifically and if it simply a decision based on the belief that I am attempting to break a law, then I find that to be along the lines of discrimination and must take issue with that in and of itself.

Thank you and again I appreciate your prompt responses and look forward to receiving another one,
Lauren [thespinzone2004]

And then came their response, this time, from 'Jenkins':

Hello Lauren,
Thank you for writing with your concern.
At this time that type of auction is not allowed on eBay. Buy my vote and convince me to vote are the same thing to us and is not allowed to be sold on the site. Under our user agreement section 9 we may remove auctions from the site if we believe that they may cause financial loss or legal liability for you, our users or us. Please do not list those types of auctions on the site.

We will look into the items you have reported to us as quickly as possible. eBay's Community Watch team reviews all user reports of items, normally within 24 hours. To ensure that we can quickly and efficiently act on each report that we receive, we do not ordinarily follow up with 3rd party reporters or users with the results of our review, or the rationale for our decision. In certain circumstances, we may contact you by email if we need further information concerning your report. We pledge, though, to quickly examine your report and apply our guidelines fairly.

Again, thank you for taking the time to write to eBay's Trust and Safety department. I appreciate your continued help in keeping eBay a safe and fair place to trade.

Regards,
Jenkins
eBay Community Watch

Now this is NOT over, I WILL have my auction which is what I'm working on setting up now... so TAKE THAT Jenkins.

September 2

****IMPORTANT NOTICE**** Well, well, well....it appears that my Ebay auction has been de-listed by the obviously misinformed folks over at Ebay... It took them almost 24 hours to de-list it and sent me this email:

Dear [thespinzone2004], We regret to inform you that your eBay auction:

5518074628 CONVINCE ME TO VOTE 4 THE PRES CANDIDATE OF YOUR CHOICE has been ended. All fees associated with this auction have been credited to your account. The item you have listed does not appear to be consistent with eBay guidelines.
We have determined that your item is inappropriate for listing on eBay.
For information on infringing, prohibited or questionable items, please view:
http://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/items-ov.html
For more information on why eBay has ended an auction, please visit:
http://pages.ebay.com/help/community/png-endauction.html

Future auctions listed that fail to meet our listing guidelines will be ended early and repeated violations may jeopardize your account status. We value you as a member of our community and wish to continue our relationship, so we respectfully ask you to refrain from any violations of the Listing Policies or User Agreement in the future.
We thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Regards,
Customer Support (Trust and Safety Department) eBay Inc

Well I visited their policy pages and couldn't find anything that came close to explaining exactly what policy I had violated.... So I wrote them back:

My listing for 'The Opportunity to convince me to vote for the presidential candidate of your choice' was de-listed and I strongly feel that this is an error made in your judgment and ask that it be re-listed as soon as possible. I visited the policy page to try and find out exactly what 'rule' I had broken and found not one item matched or even came close to matching the item that I had up for bid. While Ebay reserves whatever rights it has to de-list any auction that 'it' feels like, I find it disturbing that after I went out of my way and even sited evidence in United States law to ensure that my auction would be left to complete itself, it was still pulled. If no one wants to bid on my auction, then so be it, but that is the bidders choice to make. I assume that seeing as how quickly my auction was ended, it would be within reason to expect a response to my question/concern, equally as fast.

Thank you,
Lauren [thespinzone2004]

Now just as a side note, the Ebay employee who visited my site (who was the same Ebay employee that recommended it be de-listed), lives in Romania. I find this interesting because since when does someone in Romania know about United States election laws? I doubt Ebay employees in THIS country know enough about United States election laws.... Now this is all a MOOT point because I DIDN'T VIOLATE ANY LAWS and I have evidence to prove it...hell, I even LINK to it! Now if Ebay is going to decide that my auction is violating some policy of theirs, well, I find it incredibly amusing considering the auctions that they DO allow to go on without interruption. If Ebay decides after reviewing my auction and my response to their de-listing it, not to re-list my auction, then I guess I'll just have to have my auction on my own site and leave Ebay to have their Romanian U.S. Election law experts to find something better to do with their time... Oh... and to the Ebay employee who visited the rest of the pages on my site, I hope you enjoyed yourself but does your boss know that you were screwing around on the internet during work hours?

If my auction is NOT re-listed at Ebay within 24 hours, don't worry because the auction will be held here at The Spin Zone.... Spin THAT Ebay!

September 1

Hi all and thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday... The spa was great and I feel all nice and relaxed....ahhhhhh....Now, on to more important things, I have just updated the Spin of the Week and with that I have now officially opened up bidding on my Ebay auction.....;-) Enjoy....

August 31

Well I might as well get it out of the way now...today is my birthday!! Hopefully right about now, I'm taking my new Ferrari for a spin...or the more likely scenerio, I'm at the spa getting a nice exfoliating body scrub, or something good like that... but tomorrow I will unveil something here at TSZ which will be well worth the wait... No, really, it will be... So have a shot for me, wherever you are, and wish me a happy 25th! OK, more like 28 (wow...that's old... I can actually remember when my MOTHER turned 28...holy shiznit....) OK, anyway, like I said, just a quick little note but I promise that I've been working for quite a while on TSZ updates so drinks are on the house courtesy of me. Of course I'm not sure any bartender will honor that, but go ahead and try.... just tell them it's my birthday, maybe they're a TSZ fan....;-)

August 20

Well we just got through one of our busiest months ever so we're all taking a breather, myself included. So I had a bunch of things I was going to update today, but I seem to have left those files elsewhere, so it'll have to wait until I get home later this evening....but there are some updates that will hopefully suffice for the time being...
And here is something my friend Katie sent me which I thought was pretty interesting and proves that there hope for those of us with spelling problems yet!

The Human Mind:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deson't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

August 14

So I just got back from L.A. and I had a fantastic time as usual. I miss L.A., maybe I'll skip Chicago and move to L.A...can't decide now. In any case, I got very little sleep this past weekend but I learned a good lesson: Apparently Mojito's don't give me hangovers. AKA, I've found my new drink. Now while in L.A. I got a chance to see The Dan Band which if any of you have seen Old School, you may remember the band that played at the wedding...this would be them. One of the most entertaining performances I've ever seen and if you happen to be in L.A. (or visiting) I highly, highly recommend checking them out. OK, highly, highly, highly recommend it. Tell Dan that 'Clingy' sent you... (Yes, that would be me, but I'm not sure I want to go into just why he gave me that nickname..., at least not at this moment...;-)

And yes...as promised....updates, updates, updates to come!

August 5

OK....so my mother is in Australia, my father is in San Diego which means, among other things, that I have to house/dog sit... add into that the fact that this is going to be one of our busiest months at work (which is incredibly unusual for the summer) and you get The Spin Zone lagging with updates. Add into that that I'm going to L.A. this weekend and you get one chick who is very upset that she is upsetting all of you... So in my sweetest, cutest, sexiest (if that's what ya want to hear) voice, pretty please, with a cherry on top, forgive me...;-) And if you answer YES, then I'll make it up to you and THEN some...;-)

July 23

Well it's getting just a little bit uncomfortable here in AZ...nothing like 110 degree temps with 25% humidity to make your day hellish... Bruin (my sis's dog) is doing just fine and recovering nicely from his Retriever fight. He's even back to growling at inanimate objects like magazines and cups (issues....this dog has serious issues). In any case, work is getting a little hectic which is good, but incredibly tiring so my apologies in advance.

Oh, and because someone had commented to me that my driving story sounded made up because no judge would ever actually leave the bench to go outside to check a license plate cover, I thought I'd add this little tid-bit of information regarding the Arizona court system. The reason I'm even bringing this up is because in all actuality, I didn't think the 'judge' would leave his bench either, after all, you'd think judges have better things to do right? Well they do, which is why Arizona has justice's of the peace as well as judges. Once I read what is required to be actually BE a justice of the peace, the fact that I lost the case made a whole lot of sense to me. To be a justice of the peace a person has to be 18, a resident of Arizona, and be able to read and write English. You don't even have to have a degree in anything, let alone have to be an attorney. So being that you have to be elected, you know what I'm thinking...

...;-), or not...but it would be kind of fun to rule against people just because I felt like it...Being that I actually looked up the statute I was cited for and understood it, I've probably already got more AZ constitution knowledge than the jackass justice of the peace of ruled against me.

July 13

OK, so I love animals. Absolutely love them especially dogs. Now my sister has a biche-poo (aka a mutt that may or may not have bichon or poodle in him but it sounded good) that has seriously got some 'issues'. I swear if you look at him wrong, and I really do mean look at him wrong, he growls at you. My mom and sister are convinced that it's just me that he doesn't like but Bruin and I have our tender moments and I know that deep down inside he's just a little dog who thinks he rules the rest of the world. Well, that all changed on Sunday...long story short my sister called my parent's house, I happened to answer the phone and I thought for sure her husband was convulsing and on his way out the way my sister was carrying on...Scared the living hell out of me. Well, turns out that Bruin got put in his place...literally. A neighbors golden retriever (and you know a dog would have had to try really hard to piss off a retriever) grabbed Bruin by the back of the neck and flung him to the curb (well it was in a backyard, but you get the idea). Well $500 later Bruin is recovering from his 4 puncture wounds (that actually were quite deep, I feel bad for the poor guy) and still growling away. At least now perhaps my sister will finally realize that it is her dog that has 'issues' with everything, and not just me...sheesh

On another note, for your reading pleasure, I've now got a 'Spin Stories' page up... I don't know if I'm going to add it to the main menu, or just make it a sub-link like those at the bottom of the page, but for right now anyway, just click here to read about, among other things, yet another reason why driving in the state of Arizona sucks... I lost the fight this time, apparently my 'spin' wasn't good enough.... but I win the next one and for those of you who have ever been caught with photo radar, 'spin' such as mine, may even help you get out of it...no promises of course...;-)

July 7

Well hello there all! I'm back from Chicago, and I missed you all very much...I know, I know, you missed me too.
Well I got back last night and thanks to my good friend Mr. Xanax with whom I always have to fly with, I slept for the better part of the day today and am still recovering. I've updated some things today and plan on really updating the site during the weekend because I'm not sure how much 'going out' I can handle after this past week.

So how was my vacation? Fantastic as always of course. And here's something that'll probably aggravate any Cubs fans out there....guess where I got to go on Sunday? Well, yes, the Cubs game of course, but that's not it....Give up? I got to go on Wrigley Field during batting practice! Yup! How cool is that?! If any of you happened to be at the game, I was the only person in a skirt and heels on the field. Well regardless of my attire of lack there of, it was an awesome, awesome experience and I owe a huge, huge, thank you to the person who made it possible (you know who you are...;-)) And seeing as how I was asked the same question by numerous people, NO. NO, there was NO sexual favors exchanged.....believe it or not there are just some genuinely nice people out there..;-)

After the game we did what pretty much every other person at Wrigley did....we went to the Cubby Bear and when that was too crowded we went to what my friend calls, 'Club Barleycorn'. Well, regardless of the lameness factor we had an awesome time and got to hang out with people I don't often get to see....

So then I was debating on where I would want to buy a place in Chicago and I just don't know.... but I'll tell you, I love that town....
OK, off to unpack and get sorted out here...more updates this weekend;-)))

June 30

Well, Chi town here I come baby! Yup, I'll be there for the 4th and plan on having a nice vacation so that I can be all relaxed when I get back to update, update, update! I'll be at the Cubbie game on Sun, so look for me in the stands.... Now if you're in Chicago, email me and perhaps there will be one big TSZ rendevous? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

June 22

So I have a new obsession: downloading ringtones for my new LG. It's consuming wayyyy to much of my time...
OK. Now. Onto more interesting things....my father has a friend who has become quite involved in poker and poker tournaments. I happen to love watching the WPT (World Poker Tour) on The Travel Channel as well as the WSOP (World Series of Poker) on ESPN and have big plans to one day compete myself...;-) So my dad's friend placed 5th in the Pot Limit Omaha tournament a few weeks ago which is pretty damn cool! So Thursday, he was staying at my parent's place because he was driving back to Phili in his new car...A 2004 Volkswagen R32. No big deal right? Well no...unless you did what he did and had the car modified. So now this VW is the fastest street car in the world (only the McLaren F1 is faster). 0-60 in 3.2 seconds...
I got to take a ride in it and it was quite the experience...Anyway, if you're into cars then you'll enjoy taking a look at some pictures of the car and engine etc, so here ya go VW R32.

And on another note, I've seen bits and pieces of various episodes of 'The Bachelor' and by no means would consider myself a fan of the show...if anything, I watch it for the entertainment of watching people make asses of themselves. I did, however, happen to catch a few episodes of the most recent Bachelor and I won't bore you with details, but here's what I find amusing: So far there have been 5 'Bachelors' and not one of them is still with the chick they picked, including the latest one. Now I don't know about the other guys, but Jesse, the most recent Bachelor, after all was said and done, slept with 3 of the girls, which is fine, I don't care who sleeps with who, but I think that ABC should stop 'spinning' and call the show what it is, 'The Man Whore'...Much more appropriate don't ya think?

June 17

First things first..... MY AT&T CONTRACT IS FINALLY UP!!! I've been counting down the days for almost a year...stupid schmucks had me jumping through hoops just to get my number transferred from the company account to mine. Whatever...I could do nothing but laugh when the call got dropped mid-conversation with the customer service rep, I mean I've been getting sh!t from people at work for 'going against the group' and switching providers and for a while I thought perhaps maybe I should just stick with AT&T but that dropped call was a sign...so PHEW, done with them! Now Verizon better be as dependable as they're supposed to be else their name is ending up on the Things That Suck page.

So did you watch? The WB Superstar USA finale?! If you didn't, well, you probably saved yourself a headache from the screaming (Aka 'singing') but man was it funny... I actually don't think the very worst singer won but really any of the last three contestants were somewhat equal in their sucking abilities, but personally, I thought 'Rosa' was by far the worst. She was supposed to be singing Bootylicious but you wouldn't have known that if you hadn't heard Bryan 'Seacrest' McFadden announce it. Now I get that Spanish is her first language and all but come on, she butchered the song to death. I don't know what was worse, her 'singing' voice (or lack thereof) or that you couldn't even understand what the hell she was saying, it was like utterances or something. I mean sure the other two sucked but at least I knew which song they were butchering without having to guess. The blond Britney Wannabe won, and she took it rather well although I think the best part of the entire show was when after she had won, they did a little 'montage' of her 'WB Superstar' journey and there was a split screen which showed her face as she watched the videos of herself. She looked utterly horrified and if I had to guess I think that is when she first realized that something wasn't quite right. Too bad they didn't do that for all the contestants, I think that would have been by far the most embarrassing thing to have to go through. But I'll tell you something, at least Jaime (the winner) appeared to acknowledge that the voice she heard was so bad it couldn't possibly be hers. I have a feeling Rosa would have been completely oblivious to that but they showed Rosa backstage afterwards and after she found out that the hole thing was a joke she says, "Well, now that I've found out they were looking for the worst singer, I'm not surprised Jaime won". Um, Rosa, I'm pretty sure EVERYONE who watched the show would agree that you had the worst voice, BY FAR, but they (the Producers) didn't want to risk having their 'winner' not fully understand their English when they told them this was all a joke. What fun would that be?

OK, enough reality garbage for a while, although I may tune in to watch 'Simple Life 2' but ya know, only because it's a fellow high school alum...um, yeah, that's the ticket!;-) Oh, and just want to add another, 'HEY NOW!' Stern fans, nice to see you guys...;-)

June 15

First off, a big HEY NOW! to all the Howard fans who dropped by TSZ, and if you aren't quite sure what I mean, well, www.howardstern.com... Needless to say that I hope you Stern fans enjoyed TSZ and look forward to seeing you around here regularly.
Secondly, remember that the WB Superstar USA repeat from last week is on Sundays and I'm telling you, if you need a good laugh, tune in....I think the finale is tomorrow night, they get to hear each other for the first time, which should be hilarious.
Thirdly, guess what's up this week? My AT&T contract!!! I couldn't be more excited to be getting away from the absolute worst cell service in the country, hands down..... Now I just have to decide which phone I want...big decisions I tell ya...
Alright, time to go watch Superstar, I need another good laugh....

June 10

See, told you I was updating....

Now let me state something for the record, reality T.V. shows have really run their course as far as I'm concerned... BUT, I like funny things and so I will watch certain reality shows for a good laugh...my current favorite reality show (which isn't really saying much cause I don't really watch all THAT much TV) is the WB's (yes, you read that correctly, there is actually a show on the WB that I watch) called 'WB Superstar USA'. Rather than trying to come up with a 'new' idea for a show, they blatantly rip off 'American Idol'..Randy Jackson is played by Tone Loc, Paula Abdul is played by Vitamin C (no, I didn't know who she was either) and Simon is played by 'Briggs' (the brutally honest 'Producer'). Ryan Seacrest is played by some blond hair pretty-boy name Brian Mcsomething, and they toured a bunch of cities looking for just the right people. The difference about this show, however, is where American Idol got rid of the William Hung's, WB Superstar 'embraces' them, so to speak.

I happened to be at my parents house on Monday and I made my mom watch the show... now the whole point of the show is that they totally lie to the contestants the whole way through, I.E. the contestants really do think they are going to be the Fox equivalent of Kelly/Justin/whoever won this time and the judges egg them on even though, and I'm not exaggerating, they suck...really, really suck...I mean my dogs ears were hurting, suck...but they (the contestants) really think they are a gift to this earth. I can't wait for next week though, up until now, none of the contestants have heard any of the other contestants, cause obviously the jig would be up then. But next week they will finally hear each other sing/screech and then they'll have to know, well at least I hope they figure it out. But anyway, if you liked watching the first rounds of 'American Idol' then I highly recommend watching 'WB Superstar'....(and just fyi, this weeks show will be rebroadcast this coming Sunday). OK, now that I've gotten that out of my system....ya know, I think I'd better call the WB, I should be getting paid for this PR work...;-)

June 6

Yes, yes, yes....I know, I suck...I need to update more often...I know, I know...

But first, I would like to pay tribute to one of the great Presidents of all time...


Patti Davis lived next door to my parents place in Malibu and we got to know her fairly well so I send my deepest sympathies to her and her family. I remember one night we were all just sitting on the beach, shooting the breeze and all of a sudden it occurred to me that, 'oh my god! Her father helped end the Cold War!'...Of course he did many other things which is makes him truly one of THE greatest politicians in history. Again, my best wishes to the Reagan family.

Now on to lighter things.....I'm going to be in Chicago in a few weeks and I may be looking to make it my permanent home (I know, all you TSZ Chicagoans are going ape shiat right now aren't you!) But that's not for a few weeks and I have plenty of things to do before I go on vacation, namely, updating all kinds of stuff here on TSZ. So don't worry, its-a-coming people, simmah down now, simmah down...;-)

May 30

So the only thing the weekend did for me was give me one hell of a hangover. This is getting pretty pathetic...in college I would go out a MINIMUM of 3 nights in a week. There were some weeks I had a better attendance record at Dirtbags, Maloney's and O'Malley's than I did in class. But now, sheesh, 1 night and I'm hating life the next day. This reminds me of a college drinking story (of which there are many, but this one just popped in my head, so now you get to hear it).
So its Freshman year and my little sister is coming to visit me, and I plan on showing her how we party in COLLEGE baby! Whoo hoo...So there was a party in our building (there were too many freshman that year so a good portion of us got to live in graduate dorms... which where just as shiaty but minus the RA;-), actually, it was in room 404, not that it matters, but I find it a bit scary that I remember that. Anyway, they had taken one of those Arrowhead or Sparklettes 5 gallon water dispenser things and filled it with Kamikaze and I thought it would be a good idea to pay up front the $5.00/person? or whatever, and have unlimited drinks for the night. So before we went to get my sister from the airport, I put down my $10.00 and got ready for a night of drinking! So we get back from the airport and I'm showing my sister how cool us college kids were and how she could drink all she wants for the rest of the night...! Well, cut to 15 minutes later....I'm passed out in my friends bunk bed and my sister spent her first night visiting her really cool sister take 3 shots and pass out... Needless to say she was unimpressed.
Come to think of it, my tolerance for alcohol has probably been the same since freshman year. Yup, I believe I acquired the nickname 'Two Pack For Sure' ,(as in Tupac Shakur), because that's all it took me to get drunk just about.... Yes.....I am a cheap date....apparently..;-)

May 16

Well folks, I'm not having one of my better weeks so apologies for the lack of updates...
But in the meantime, I thought that the best way to update in the future, was to update the most appreciated features on TSZ, so if when you came here (to any of the pages) you would have gotten a pop-up poll thing. If you did, then thanks for voting (and voting only once). If you have your browser set to block pop-ups but you still want to vote (which I hope you do) then click here and vote accordingly.
Now there shouldn't be any problems but as you should well know, I'm not a 'coding guru' by any stretch of the imagination so things are bound to go wrong sometimes....but hopefully the poll works just fine.

Hopefully this weekend will provide me with a much needed cheering up.....suggestions are welcomed..;-)

May 7

Still no luck with my computer but FINALLY....I've got a new Spin of the Week...I know, its been long over due...But ya know ya love me anyway...;-)
Oh...and I'm leaving my shoes and the story up though cause for one thing, I love looking at my shoes and for another, because I want to make sure everyone gets to read my story....OK, fine, its cause I like looking at my shoes but the story is worth reading too....at least I think so.


Well this weekend we celebrated the 29th birthday of my best friend here in AZ (Steph)...and much to her disgust, I can now say that I'm 2 years younger than her... yeah, well, too bad... Anyway, it was quite a day.... We went shopping and both found, in different stores, Stuart Weitzman's that we fell madly in love with.... Mine are so sexy its killing me not to show em off, so here ya go...;-)


Now I'm a seasoned heel wearer but even I was impressed by my ability to walk and dance in those stilettos. I mean that's talent! I'm a bit upset though because it took actually seeing the picture for me to realize that I've lost my anklet and haven't a clue when...:-( But speaking of Saturday night here's a quick story from our night out at the bars.
So we're at a bar in downtown Scottsdale and we were sitting at a table outside...I wanted to get some napkins and a cherry (yes I love the maraschino cherries especially because I'm allergic to the real ones, but anyway) so I went inside to one of the bars and there's some guy lounging against the bar with his arms spread as if he was sitting in his own relaxing jacuzzi. Well he was turned the opposite way and wasn't ordering anything so I just sort of tried to reach across him without having to bother him to get a napkin. Now mind you that this guy looked like a 5'4" version of Kid from Kid 'N Play (well perhaps then he was more like 5'8" with the hair which I thought went 'out' like 10 years ago, but anyway) and if you ask anyone that knows me, they'll tell you that I go out of my way to avoid physical confrontation...I mean it just never happens (especially with a guy), most likely because I'd get my ass kicked...So 'Kid Jr' looks at me and says with a straight face, "Ya know you're supposed to say Excuse Me" and I sorta just stood there waiting for him to smile and say he was joking but instead he kept staring at me and said, "You're supposed to be a lady and you're supposed to have manners!" Now I'm still waiting for the punch line to this joke cause I figure this is just some guys idiotic way of trying to flirt or something, but it eventually occurred to me that he wasn't kidding... So now I get pissed and I say to him "Well you're supposed to be a gentleman then aren't you? You're leaning on the bar like you own it so why don't YOU get say excuse me?" It is at this point that he says to me, "F*ck You! F*ck You!" and gives me the finger. Now at this point I'm still trying to figure out exactly what has just happened and I was sort of in shock and at a loss for words so I just turned around with a puzzled look on my face and walked back to our table. Well there were about 8 or so of my girlfriends sitting there and as soon as I walked up to the table I said, "The most bizarre thing just happened." And I told them the story....well one of my friend's (Joy) who tends to not let things just 'be' grabbed my arm, brought me to the indoor entrance and I pointed him out to her. Well she went up to the bar, reached across him to get a napkin (like I had), backed up, and before I knew what was going on, they were in an argument. So I went up to them, the guy turned around, started with the 'f*ck you's' again and he was spitting while he yelled so I made a 'get your disgusting saliva away from my breathing area' motion with my hands told him to f*ck off and left. Well, my friend apparently stayed around for a little too long because the next thing she knew she got a drink thrown on her. OK, what GUY throws a drink on someone? Isn't that reserved for girls to do? Well I guess he knew he was gonna get kicked out so he left voluntarily...Talk about issues...

May 2

Oh...and seeing as how I've yet to resolve this IE issue, I'm leaving this up for a bit longer...
I've been having some 'issues' with my MSIE, most notably its shutting down without an error message anytime I hit 'submit' or 'search' on certain forms. I've done the whole spyware scan thing, I even looked in my regedit (not that I should have seeing as how I wouldn't know if something was in there that shouldn't be anyway) and then I even downloaded MYIE2 to see if that would work...which it did, at first, and then *POOF* closed down just like MSIE. So forgive me for not updating more, its just that I'm currently having to restrain myself from taking my 22 and busting a cap in my hard drive. OK, I don't actually have a 22 but if I did...well, its a good thing for my computer that I don't. So anyway, if anyone has ever experienced or heard about something like this happening...I am BEGGING for your help. My alternative is to take my computer down to my dad's office so that the "Doc" (you know who you are) can see if he can fix it. But I really, really, really, don't feel like doing that and I'm quite sure Doc feels the same way...;-)

I'm also currently working on something that I personally believe is brilliant and will delight TSZ fans (and even non-TSZ fans) everywhere! But its so brilliant that you'll just have to wait a little bit longer....Now of course I think its brilliant..duh, I came up with it..

I'm leaving the whole 'wet' thing up because I think it needs to reach the masses....
So we were on our nightly walk/run....ok, walk....and one of the girls was telling us how her boss has been using the word "wet" sort of like one would use the word "phat" or "cool" or whatever... and he was oblivious to the sexual reference which made it all the more funny. But we decided that we were going to try and start a trend, so from here on out, the word "wet" will be used to describe something that one finds 'cool' or 'fresh' or...you get the idea. For example, "The Spin Zone is so wet!" or "Damn! Those rims on that car are wet!" So how bout it? We's all in this Mo Fo or what? Now we also decided that it couldn't be used to describe one's self, most notably because this would be an obvious sexual reference and it would defeat the purpose. Oh, and we don't claim to have made it up we're just trying to 'spread the word'...so to speak.....;-)

April 26

So we were on our nightly walk/run....ok, walk....and one of the girls was telling us how her boss has been using the word "wet" sort of like one would use the word "phat" or "cool" or whatever... and he was oblivious to the sexual reference which made it all the more funny. But we decided that we were going to try and start a trend, so from here on out, the word "wet" will be used to describe something that one finds 'cool' or 'fresh' or...you get the idea. For example, "The Spin Zone is so wet!" or "Damn! Those rims on that car are wet!" So how bout it? We's all in this Mo Fo or what? Now we also decided that it couldn't be used to describe one's self, most notably because this would be an obvious sexual reference and it would defeat the purpose. Oh, and we don't claim to have made it up we're just trying to 'spread the word'...so to speak.....;-)

April 20

Today I got quite a few referrals from a seemingly random Google search which has left me incredibly curious.... So if you have any idea what I'm talking about, I'd love to know how you got that.... By all means, I'm glad you're here, I'm just incredibly curious. If you'd like to help a sista out, email me... just because I'm nosey and like to know things.
And to whomever it was who so eloquently pointed out to me their opinion that I am an attention whore, but didn't leave their name......ummmm, Lick me (That's like 'bite me' but for girls..)

April 12

So I'm still working on my new car...I'll keep you all updated.
and on a different note...I was recently 'invited' to join a new and exclusive 'web community' because I really need something else to use as an alternative to being productive...( especially considering that updating TSZ isn't even remotely what I do for a living). Actually, some of you reading this right now may have come from there, in which case, I made a new group relating directly to this website.....go find it there. And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, well all I can say is that I'm sure you'll get an invitation soon...;-) Unless you're really unpopular in which case, um....you can call me your friend, if that makes you feel better...and unlike the various ebay auctions and imaginary girlfriend sites, I won't even charge you!

April 7

Well even though I'm still in the 'not so greatest mood', I have managed to update TSZ... And more to come. I thought perhaps buying a new car would make me feel better...I want a CLK430....but my loan officer (aka my dad) feels differently.... So I guess I'll have to find something else to make me feel better... Perhaps a trip to Chi town?! Well I'll be there for Memorial Day again this year....There seem to be quite a view TSZ viewers in Chicago...perhaps a TSZ-Chicago Town-Alcohol Fest is in order...I bet that'd make be feel better...;-) I'm leaving up 'The Daily Show' segment link cause its freaking hilarious and I'd pay good money to see what my 4" heels would look like up that guys ass.. So here ya go (ignore the subtitles of who ever uploaded it).
Oh...and since there are still quite a few of you who come here for the Quizno's rats....it is now linked to from the menu at the bottom.

April 2

For those of you who managed to see my brilliant April Fools joke...well, hope you enjoyed it. Otherwise, I haven't been feeling all that well so in the meantime...... in case you didn't happen to catch 'The Daily Show' segment with the one of the dumbest (apparently) spammers ever along, with one of the funniest interviews ever.... well, click here to see it (ignore the subtitles of who ever uploaded it).
Oh.....and wish me well...sniff....sniff,

March 20

Yeah, yeah....I know, I've been MIA and depriving my loyal viewers of TSZ updates....please accept my apologies, I have no excuse. Um, yeah.....
Well, one thing I was busy with, was picking my brackets..... which are now in shambles. I specifically filled out 2 because I had to have one where Arizona won the championship...yea, yea, I know, WTF, but come on, that's my team! I mean I've gotta have faith, right? So I had 2, one that was a fantasy (AZ winning) and 1 which I thought was more reality... Of course I was assuming that top seeded teams would actually play like top seeded teams, which has not been the case...apparently. I did manage to pick Manhattan in both brackets, so I thought I was on a role, but now, out of both brackets that I filled out, I have Pitt, St. Joes and Texas going to the final four in some form... that's as close as I get, Arizona, Stanford, Kentucky...gone. So needless to say, I am glad that I didn't actually give considerable money to a friend of mine who went to Vegas to bet on the games, cause then I'd really be kicking myself. As long as Duke doesn't win, I think I'll survive...I think.
Now here's an interesting bit....this past Saturday we went to a bar here in Scottsdale and when we were up at the bar closing our tabs, I turned to find Randy Jackson standing next to me... (For those of you who don't know Randy, he's the 'What's up Dawg' judge from American Idol). At this point I was pretty drunk (I know, big shock there) and I don't remember exactly what I said, but I think it was something along the lines of, "Randy. I don't care who wins, I just wanna see you guys tear everyone who thinks (keyword being 'thinks') they can sing, new assholes. Well, he thought that was very amusing (or not) but he bought me a shot and I kissed him thank you. And that's my story. Interesting isn't it.

The other thing worth noting that happened this past weekend, was that my friend got the new Mercedes G 500. Now because I've now been in it and driven around town in it, I've had to go to my 'yourcar' page and make some 'adjustments'... Plus I thought I'd add a few more for the hell of it. I still don't know why anyone needs one of those cars, but now that I have access to one, well, what can I say...;-)

March 9

Considering the popularity of the Quizno's rats ....I've decided that the topic now deserves its own page...at least for now. And I've now added a 'make your OWN Quizno's coupon' page. So now you can put whatever you like on TSZ coupon, print it out, and take it to Quizno's....if you're still actually going there. I mostly made the coupon thingy cause I finally figured out the php code to do it....plus, I thought you guys could probably come up with some funny things to make a coupon for...Email your coupon if you really want to and if its worthy, I'll post it for the rest of the TSZ world to see..;-)

On a different note.... last week I was reminded of yet another reason why I'm glad I'm a girl....There is a bar that recently opened up here in Scottsdale and the past few times we've passed by there, we didn't even get out of the car because the line was so long. Now first of all, there is no reason for there to be a line at any bar in Phoenix. L.A.? Maybe. New York? Maybe, but Phoenix?! So anyway, I have a strict rule that I do not wait in lines....but there have been a few times when the people that I'm with talk me into going because they really want to go to a particular bar, and last week was one of those times. So we walk up to the line and 2 seconds later the bouncer comes over to us and says, 'You three?' And then motions for us to go with him and then he says to us that ladies are always welcome and to come to him whenever we go there. And so no waiting in line, no paying cover and that, my friends, is yet another reason why I love being a girl...;-)

February 26

***Today is February 26 (well, its almost the 27th) and I wanted to share with you all an email I received in regards to the Quizno's ad. Now I've been to plenty of other websites where 'hate mail' is a regularly updated feature...and I find most of them amusing, especially, Maddox's but to be completely honest with you all, I really don't get much hate mail...Almost none....I mean let's be serious here, why would anyone hate me? (well, excluding a few moderators from a certain website). But I got this email yesterday:

From: Kaen Zue [*******@hotmail.com] To: lauren@thespinzone.com
The Quizno's commercial isn't ripping off rathergood.com you stupid bitch. He made the commercial.
Hmmmmm....sounds like Kaen Zue has got some issues, but I'm not about to help him/her? with that. Now just for the record, a rip-off can be defined as: An act of exploitation or Something, such as a film or story, that is clearly imitative of or based on something else.
Now as far as I can tell, Quizno's is doing just that. In fact, a guy from their ad firm has said that he received the rathergood clip in an email and decided they (the oh so appetizing spongemonkeys) would be perfect for their (Quizno's) campaign. Now what I don't get about Kaen Zue, is why the attitude? Did I say there was anything wrong with ripping it off? Nope. And for the record, I'm assuming that 'He' refers to Joel Veitch and just fyi, the Martin Agency actually made the commercial, not Mr. Veitch. Whether or not he got paid or credit for it isn't my concern and I don't know why you've made it yours. I can take a pretty good guess though and I wish you well in overcoming your fear of failure and hope that you find yourself something to do with your time other than send nice people like me, stupid and pointless emails. OK,

February 19

Al righty folks....Lauren is slowly but surely recovering from her 'not so good' past few weeks.... Just been having a few "issues" that have left me not so in the mood to amuse anyone...but I'm coming back....I think..;-)

Now on to the good stuff....
Have you seen that new Quizno's commercial? You know...the one with the most foul looking, foul sounding, most unappetizing looking 'things' that look like a rat cloning experiment gone terribly wrong, with a 'Mariachi' twist? There are a select few that may (and I stress MAY) recognize this as a complete rip off from Joel Veitch's Rathergood.com ... if you do, then you are one of a very, very small audience... and if you're like me, you didn't even put 2 and 2 together because you were too busy trying not to throw-up while watching the Quizno's add. I can't even begin to tell you how disgusting I find this commercial...the voices, the rats, the teeth.... what in the f*&k was their ad agency thinking..... I mean, do I remember the commercial?...sure.... and the next time I feel like a sub I'll remember the commercial vividly and if I still have an appetite after that, I'll go straight to Subway.
...But I thought this presented an amusing opportunity.... You see they say they will offer any coupon...... ANY coupon ...., so I thought I'd make a special coupon for you, thespinzone viewers that you can print, cut out, and bring to Quizno's (assuming you still want to eat there) for your $1.00 off. I wonder how many of these coupons we can get circulating....hmmmmmm... When you're there, you can perhaps suggest to them that instead of the 'mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm...Toasty!' tag line, they should change it to a more appropriate, 'ughh, ughh, ughh, ughh, ughh....Nasty'.


the 'my foot up your ass' service coupon


the 'vomit clean-up' service coupon

Just click one of the thumbnails for the official tsz/Quizno's coupon and enjoy...if you can.

***FYI-Today (Friday) my brother-in-law took one of the coupons to a Quizno's here in Phoenix and they honored it...so I guess even they know how foul the commercial is..;-)***

February 13

OK....so Lauren isn't having such a banner last couple weeks and because of this, Lauren hasn't been keeping up with updates....OK, enough of me talking like The Rock. Not to get on a tangent here but, really, just for a second or so.... Talking in third person was something I tried getting into the habit of doing but it never took which is all as well because I'd kick my own ass it would get so annoying. I periodically try to start another talking trend, this time by using the "quotes" hand signal thing (you know when you say something and use both hands with the bunny rabbit double pump finger motion on either side of your head...ok, that was way to in depth of a description for something so stupid but anyway) numerous times in any given sentence. So getting back to my "bad" week, I can only imagine the "joy" that Valentines Day is going to "bring".... Now see, can't you just feel the sarcasm in that statement especially with the help of the quotes? Alright well much like every time I've tried doing that in "real life" it gets old pretty quick so I'll abort that mission for now.
So yes, Lauren does not have a Valentine.....I don't suppose any of you out there would like to be my Valentine? Boys?......errr.... Girls?.....

I would like to say a big 'HI FELLAS!' to my Air Force National Guardsmen over there in Kentucky..;-) Valentines kisses for all of you..;-)

February 3

Well after a week, that's right a WEEK without my computer, I'm back. Seems my old computer was having some issues, mainly that it didn't like me anymore, so it was time for a new one. And now I have a kick ass computer...but I'm still trying to get back the programs I had on my old one which can prove somewhat difficult when the CDs are missing, but slowly I will be back in full force... But I must say, not being able to come home and jump on my computer right away forced me to do other things, and ya know what....I kinda liked it...but I wouldn't want to disappoint any TSZ viewers so don't worry...;-)
I would like to say CONGRATULATIONS to the Patriots!! Honestly it wasn't all that important to me, I'm not from Boston and Brian Griese is my favorite former Michigan Quarterback, but my best friend here in Phoenix (who also happens to be Tom Brady's girlfriend...in her dreams) is from Boston and so I consider myself an honorary Pats fan...plus I like to drink and thats what I did yesterday with about 1,000 of my closest friends at a bar here in Scottsdale. Anyway.....Super Bowl related news inspired my latest 'Spin of the Week so I know Paris was the Spin of the Week for about 10 of em, (and for those of you who are still looking for her... here she is).
Alright, this weekend was a very intoxicating one so I think now I'm going to attempt to actually get to sleep at a somewhat decent hour and perhaps tomorrow I won't completely over sleep and miss my 9:00 a.m. meeting....ooopppsss..;-)

January 30

OK, so this time I actually have a reason why I'm slow with updates.... I've been having 'computer issues' that required the immediate attention of someone who knows what they are doing (i.e. NOT ME) so between that and a busy work week its been a bit tough to update.... but its long overdue so its coming....I swear..;-)
On another note...I really try and not let my political views dictate what I put on TSZ because no matter which way you lean, they all 'spin' like its going out of style.... but I happen to take this little Q&A which evaluates your answers to see which candidate's views you most agree with. Well, I thought it was interesting anyway....

January 25

OK, I'm back from Cali (but still a bit tired, hence lagging with the updates). I really do miss L.A....or I guess I should clarify that...I really do miss my home. If I wasn't actually from there then I'd probably hate it but then I guess if I was from B.F.E. Iowa I'd miss it too. Anyway, I went to one of my best friend (Arielle)'s wedding and fun was had by all. More details later, but here is proof that my younger sister is a retard: So Friday night we were all going to go to this club/bar but my friends and I opted to not go in favor of going somewhere a bit more low key where we could talk. So my sister and her friends go to the club and as she's leaving (drunk, of course) she sees Vince Vaughn. Now he must get around because I remember seeing him in a bar in Tucson when I was in college and my friends saw him passed out on the beach in Chicago, but that's besides the point....OK, so what is the ONE line that Vince Vaughn probably hears more than ANYTHING else? Yup, that's the one....my drunk ass sister walks up to him as she's leaving, puts her hand on his arm and says, "You're sooooo money!". Of course then she came home and her and her drunk friends woke me up by screaming that I shouldn't be sleeping at 3:00am on a Friday. Um...yea....anyway....;-)

January 15

I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali.....I'm going back to Cali...you get the idea. Anyway all, I'm off to one of my best friend's wedding in L.A. this weekend, and of course I'll be enjoying myself doing other things in my hometown.....so I'll be back on Monday (which is MLK day in case you hadn't remembered) and I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories....So I know its gonna be a rough weekend without updates (although the Ebonics word of the day is updated automatically) but my Chicago and L.A. trips will be behind me so I'll have all kinds of time to update...;-)

January 12

OK, I'm taking a long time to update, but I just got back from Chicago and I'm leaving for L.A. on Thursday so gimmie a break.... And anyway, my current spin of the week is by far the most popular one I've ever done.... can't imagine why of course..;-) But really, later today more updates... I have loads of 'real' work to do before I leave again but I won't leave ya hanging...I promise...;-)

January5

Just a quick note....I just got back from Chicago at about midnight last night and I'm trying to defrost my body as well as catch up on 'things' so hopefully later today I'll be updating TSZ..... But I just wanted to say hi to you all and let you know that I've been away...and staying at my best friend in Chicago's apt where, get this, she has NO INTERNET. I know, I know, shocking....but then I suppose it wouldn't matter anyway because if there is one thing I learned this trip, it's that it's a good thing I don't actually live in Chicago, because I spent the entire time there living by the words "don't de-tox, re-tox", which I did.....every day.....But I promise, updates are coming shortly, just wanted to say helloooooooo.

On a more amusing note, Ryan over at Gorilla Mask has a page with look-a-likes...anyway, here are my contributions to the page...BTW-NO photoshopping was involved, unfortunately for some of them.... Enjoy.
Howard Dean & 'The Joker' Howard Dean & Jack Nicholson


Larry Kudlow
(CNBCs Kudlow & Cramer)
& Phil Hartman Spock & Hanan Ashwari
(Palestinian Asshat)


Matthew Perry & Joe Scarborough
(MSNBC News)
Ron Livingston & Renay San Miguel
(CNN)
continued....2003.....