WARNING: READ BEFORE YOU PROCEED WITH VIEWING THIS FINE PAGE
This page is probably going to offend a very large percentage of the population, basically because it is about bad drivers and seeing as most of the population are bad drivers, this will offend many people. It also may offend other groups of the population so if you think you may fall into these groups (senior citizens, foreigners etc.) Then you have a choice, leave this page or take notes. If you are easily offended, you may want to leave, if you want to help the world be a better place, then I'd do us all a favor and do the latter. Remember.....this IS the Spin Zone.
***FOUND!!!THE WORLDS WORST DRIVER HAS BEEN FOUND.....RIGHT HERE IN PHOENIX!*** Scroll down for the breaking news!!
- Good drivers (such as myself)
- People who understand that 'Road Rage' is the effect NOT the cause
- Tired of people who can't drive
- You are on social security (for age or injury reasons)
- You just got your license
- You have a handicap license plate
- You drive a Cadillac (i.e. you are old)
- You live in Arizona (yes, I'm partial to this one, lots of idiot drivers here)
Yep! That's right, the search for the P.A.I.D. poster child is over and she's living right here in Arizona...
Now please understand that the female who is has taken the honor was quite a shock to me....I was pretty sure it was going
to be a girl....but I thought for sure she would be 100 years old and blind or something like that. But no, she looks to be somewhere
in her 20's and though she didn't appear to drive like she was blind, she did drive as though she was impaired...This of course was confirmed when I saw
the warning sticker on her car that she had so thoughtfully placed so that there was no doubt that she was indeed, impaired:
In case you can't read that (and it is a bit tough)...it says "CRACK WHORE"....if the shoe fits....
Ahhhh.....ok, got that off my chest...And if you're wondering what makes her such a bad driver, well I can pretty much state for a fact that this stupid biatch hasn't read my page or any of the lessons on it.... ever....add to that that she never once signaled, couldn't keep in one lane for longer than 5 seconds, and she wasn't even talking on the phone! I mean at least that could be offered as an excuse for her but no...she's just the worlds most absolute shittiest driver! And lucky me that she lives here...!
Now, this is the part when all of you who fit into the "Idiot Drivers" category, take notes:
(lessons added frequently due to daily discovery of new ways people drive like sh!t)
LESSON 1
If you're illiterate, don't drive.
LESSON 2
If you've had a
stroke since you last renewed your license, maybe you should reconsider
getting behind the wheel.
LESSON 3
It's called the
Fast Lane for a reason.
LESSON 4
If performing multi-tasks is a
problem for you, then I'd limit your task intake to perhaps only changing the channel on the
remote and drinking a beer at the same time. Driving requires just a few more brain cells than
people like you, possess.
LESSON 5
The word of the day, "MERGING". This means
that when you are getting onto the freeway, for instance, that long piece of road called the 'on ramp'
is meant to be the used as the time to get up to speed with the rest of the traffic. By the time
you are actually 'on' the freeway (and not the on ramp) you should already be going at least the minimum speed limit
so that you don't cause the traffic already on the freeway to have to slow down to your 'on ramp' speed.
This is not efficient or safe.
LESSON 6
When you are making a
left turn at a light, pull forward to the middle of the intersection; Don't sit
there and wait for the damn light to turn red, this too is incredibly inefficient
LESSON 7
Turning
right on red (unless there are signs specifically stating not to) means that when there are no cars coming, (this includes when there are no cars coming in the right most lane even
if there are cars in any of the other lanes) TURN already you f%*@$%g idiot!!
LESSON 8
Having your indicator signal on doesn't mean you can just change lanes at will. That is the first step, then you have LOOK to make sure you have room and its safe.
LESSON 9
If there is a cop who has pulled someone over and ticketing them, you don't have to stop and look and/or slow down, he's not coming after you. No, really, he's not.
LESSON 10
If there has been an accident that is not blocking any traffic, then there shouldn't be traffic. I mean really? Half the time a car is stalled on the side of the road. Is it really necessary to look at that? The ONLY time that slowing down MAY be ok is if there are injuries and other gruesome stuff to look at (you know you would want to look too so don't think I'm the only one here who is sick in the head).
LESSON 11
If you just must get in front
of another driver because you think they are driving way to slow, and do everything
you can to get in front of them, then when you do get in front of them....don't f^&(ing decide
that this is a good time to slow down. You wanted to get ahead of them for
a reason, right? Or you're just an idiot....which I'm guessing may be the case.
LESSON 12
New term for the day, 'Enabler'.
Don't become one. For example, if someone has decided to make their own
lane due to bad traffic, don't allow them room to cut back in. In this situation,
it is the person who lets them back IN that is the problem, after all, people
wouldn't do it if it never worked.
LESSON 13
If there are TWO turn lanes (in the same direction) then its probably a good idea to STAY
IN THE SAME F*&^ING LANE for the duration of your turn. I.E. if you are in the right most lane, then STAY in the right most lane, don't 'cruise' over to the left lane mid-turn.
LESSON ...
PLENTY MORE TO COME I ASSURE YOU
***FYI I have just added my 'What Your Car Says About You' page and I highly recommend it, very insightful.***
If you would like to learn how to drive like a moron, please visit Doggie Snot's How to drive like a moron page.